Getting quite sick

Of school (4 1/2 weeks and counting!). And drama. And stress. And not getting enough sleep.

Actually, that last one isn’t quite true – after being worn out by laughing, cooking, and more laughing last night I hit the sack and slept for a solid 8 1/2 hours – more than I’ve gotten in ages. This morning was probably the first in at least five weeks that I haven’t fallen asleep on Alex’s shoulder on the bus.

As for the drama, there are just times I just wonder why some people can’t seem to grow up. I know, not condescending at all, right? It’s just that at a certain point, you have to realize that life moves on; times change, friendships move apart, everyone changes (and hopefully grows and matures). Getting things “back to normal” or “the way it used to be” is pointless and counterproductive – move forward in life. Basing a friendship off who you were years ago is like marrying someone and then not speaking to them – one day you wake up and realize that they’re not the person you thought they were, and you might not be too fond of them now.

Okay, so I actually don’t have that many friends anymore, mostly just acquaintances. There are several I’d like to bump back up to friend status, but at the same time I feel like my friends are tightly knit, not just a bunch of people who have really shallow surface level conversations and decide that those make us “close friends”, and I want to stick with quality over quantity with the people I hang out with.

I’m stressed because I realized that for the credential program, even with the adjustments made to it, I probably won’t be able to keep a job, and definitely won’t stay at the Abbey (I have trouble fitting it all in NOW, and I feel like trying to do it then would be shorting myself of the experience and not giving enough to the group), and tuition for credential program people is more expensive. After a bit of math, I realized that I need to save up at LEAST $6,000 for that year (without factoring in spending cash for meals out, clothes, emergencies, tithing, or anything else), and I really REALLY don’t want to take out loans for school – my family went into debt once, and has never crawled back out. I don’t want to tempt myself, or fate.

Help.

I wonder if it’s too soon to ask Alex if I could possibly move in with him when he moves out.

Nah. Poor guy’s already sick. I might give him a heart attack or send him into diabetic shock.

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