Back from Santa Cruz

Okay, so I didn’t go for my walk this morning. My thighs still hurt from hiking, yowch.

The Abbey’s monastic retreat went well, I think; it was a long drive both ways, but the I enjoyed Saturday, the only entire day we had there. It’s really refreshing to just get away for awhile, be with people you care about, and have time to think. We did a lot of liturgy, and I liked the flow of it – for the record, if you’d asked me about liturgy a year ago, I would’ve laughed and told you that I could never stand to be in a church that had liturgical services. How times change =)

Tomorrow is my interview for a youth leader position, and I’m super nervous, not only for the interview itself (I have a bad habit of stumbling over myself while trying to talk) but if I get the position, would I actually be able to pull it off? On top of that, I have a nagging feeling that the second I walk in the door, a light will go in all of the interviewer’s heads saying “too young. next!” But I’ll do my best – after discovering that my nice slacks no longer fit me, I’m going shopping this morning to find some clothes, both for interviews and for casual contexts – I’ve gotten in a bad habit of wearing tighter shirts, and I’m desperately in need of a belt.

I’m also nervous because after my interview tomorrow is my our end of the noviciate check in with Josh. I know I have some shortcomings, and logically I don’t think I’ll be made an associate member, but my ever-pessimistic side that kicks in whenever I really care about something keeps nagging at me that there’s no way I’ll still be a full member of the Abbey after tomorrow. Even though today is busy, I wish my interview and check in were today, just to get it over with and not have to worry about either.

In other random news, since I went to Thursday Market last week, I’ve been getting a slew of random truth box messages. Some have been nice, complimenting my eyes or whatnot, but a lot of them have just been random phrases that seem kind of rude but are diffused by the use of question marks and hesitant words like “maybe?”. It’s not a big issue, but I am curious, even though I know I shouldn’t care. I really don’t want to get caught up back in with the drama of my old group, where truth box messages could be the start of entire episodes of drama.

All in all, however, I’m fairly at peace. There are just a few things that I just have to push to the back of my head because it’s not worth worrying about them, and writing them out helps me a bit.

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1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. joshua
    Jun 10, 2009 @ 20:42:18

    hey… pretty kick-ass blog, kiddo!

    i didn’t even realize you had one until patrick published the list

    good work…

    consider this your journal… ask me about it tomorrow 🙂

    Reply

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