A good reminder

Below is an exchange I had with a friend from high school this evening, part of a larger conversation as we were catching up. Re-reading it, I’m pretty happy with it as a summing up of my feelings toward my present situation. It’s good for me to have moments like this, when I’ve been succumbing to stress and started to feel kind of sorry for myself, to remember that I’m incredibly blessed and have far more than what I need. These moments always put a smile on my face =)

(Edited a bit from original conversation, because there are a few of these things that I don’t need to broadcast across the internet…)

Me: At this point I’m pretty much living paycheck to paycheck. Any extra consistent expense would mean a huge difference to me financially.

Friend: Yeah. So how come you’re so hard-up? Can’t you take out a loan?

Me: I’m doing my best not to. At some point I’ll almost undoubtedly need to take out loans, but I’m putting that off as long as I can. I think watching my parents battle debt all my life makes me queasy about having any sort of debt. Plus, I’m not a very responsible spender; sure, I don’t go out buying huge things or anything, it’s mostly just the small stuff that I let add up too much. Having a large chunk of money in an account gives me too much temptation to spend needlessly. Mostly I just have to really hope nothing horrific happens.

Friend: Yeah, but you know, there’s programs for loan forgiveness for California teachers.

Me: I’m becoming less and less sure that I’ll stay in CA the more I talk to people who are actually looking for teaching jobs right now. The special ed credential I’ll be getting should help with that, but there’s nothing close to the job security that got sold to me before.

All that to say, and I realize now that all that up there sounds super depressing, but I’m actually…happy. I don’t mind this lifestyle. I’m starting to make more of my own stuff, especially food wise, get more creative with purchases, I can’t slack off on work, and I value what I do have much more than before.

I’d much, much prefer to live like this right now than bank on some really vague things that are looking less and less hopeful. I’d rather experience this now and enjoy it, as I am, than have a huge meltdown when my loans come due and I’m still unemployed. Besides, at least right now we’re all in the same poor/creative/frugal college kid boat =P


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